Friday, February 28, 2025
Not worth
Thursday, February 27, 2025
Tuesday, February 25, 2025
What the living do?
And the Drano won't work but smells dangerous, and the crusty dishes have piled up
waiting for the plumber I still haven't called. This is the everyday we spoke of.
It's winter again: the sky's a deep, headstrong blue, and the sunlight pours through
the open living-room windows because the heat's on too high in here and I can't turn it off.
For weeks now, driving, or dropping a bag of groceries in the street, the bag breaking,
I've been thinking: This is what the living do. And yesterday, hurrying along those
wobbly bricks in the Cambridge sidewalk, spilling my coffee down my wrist and sleeve,
I thought it again, and again later, when buying a hairbrush: This is it.
Parking. Slamming the car door shut in the cold. What you called that yearning.
What you finally gave up. We want the spring to come and the winter to pass. We want
whoever to call or not call, a letter, a kiss—we want more and more and then more of it.
But there are moments, walking, when I catch a glimpse of myself in the window glass,
say, the window of the corner video store, and I'm gripped by a cherishing so deep
for my own blowing hair, chapped face, and unbuttoned coat that I'm speechless:
I am living. I remember you.
Marie Howe
Ode to his brother
Monday, February 24, 2025
You have arrived
Saturday, February 22, 2025
Thursday, February 20, 2025
Something in me
Some poems
Tuesday, February 18, 2025
Paul Walker: Notes on Music
From: Paul Walker <paul@pwjw.com>
Date: October 8, 2014 at 21:48:00 EDT
To:
Subject: An approach to 20th century composed musicSo I'm going to go out way on a limb and say there are two key things in 20th century composed music people find confusing - the disonnance or atonality and the minimalist or non-traditional structure. And there's a hard path from AC/DC to, say, the threnody.
Given that those two themes exist, I've decided to approach a listening list this way. I'm going to give you a few major works in each vein in "increasing hardness" and you tell me as you listen to them when you get stuck and what inspires you.
But first, lets go back a bit. I have the view, and lots agree, that the first 20th century composer was Beethoven, much in the "clinton was the first black president" sense. So I really think its important to start with just a refresher of what he was doing in the early 19th century. I would strongly recommend starting with the seventh symphony. I actually think B7 is my favorite piece of music in the world, and I also think that, perhaps, it is the best in an absolute sense. Yup, I went there.
Karajan is the canonical recording. Here's 4 & 7: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/beethoven-symphonies-nos.-4-7/id4568514
OK so you've listened to 7 a couple of times? You realize it's actually the root of pop music? Got it? Good.
So now lets jump ahead a bit. Still not in the 20th c quite, but Mahler's second symphony (resurrection) is where a lot of people think it all starts going a bit you know, pear shaped and fun. So that's next.
https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/mahler-symphony-no.-2-resurrection/id81847968
And wow, that's a lot of orchestras. But you have it, right?
So OK we will come back to that in a minute or two. But while we are ramping up the start of the 20th century, lets jump to one of the endpoints which sort of emerged from a different tradition - minimalism. Lots going on here, and in a way in a totally different tradition than Mahler or Beethoven. But worth a listen to start. I think the most accessible place to start is Steve Reich. Since you are a guitarist, let me suggest you start with Pat Metheney playing "Electric Counterpoint". https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/reich-different-trains-electric/id155903334
This is very meditative and structural music. If you liked it you will also love music for 18 musicians: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/music-for-18-musicians/id79577274
Hmm. So that's really different than the symphonies. So how should we approach this?
Well lets go back into the 20th century orchestral and land on Shostakovich Symphony #4. He actually pulled the performance of this piece, since Stalin had called it bourgois and corrupt, and was going to, basically, kill Shostakovich. So there's that. I don't know this recording but it seems ok. But listen to the start. That screech. Hmm. That's not in the beethoven. And it's only hinted at in the Mahler, right?
https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/shostakovich-symphony-no.-4/id717431457
So what had happened? Well what had happened is a group of people - schoenberg, webern, berg - had decided in the early 20th c to completely throw out traditional music theory. And they ended up writing some amazingly lovely music. To give you an idea, he started mahleresqe. String quartet number two, for instance, is amazing: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/schoenberg-string-quartet/id322916483
but then wow. He tossed all that. Listen, just a short time later, to Five Piano Pieces, Op 23 https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/schoenberg-piano-music-piano/id203939737
So what happened? Well structurally Schoenberg was trying to communicate musical ideas without traditional key. He invented a new music theory. And he made some amazing music. And some rather crap followers in his wake. Because - and here's the trick - it's easy to get "emperor has no clothes" with this stuff. Music connects with humans on an emotional level. Being as free and formal as schoenberg was led to others skipping that critical step. I will leave out all of, say, Morton Feldman for this reason. But if you like this, Berg and Webern are really fun. Like check out this nutso reimagining of a bach fugue by webern: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/fuga-no.-2-ricercata-6-voci/id401536226?i=401537819
Gnugh now your head is exploding right? OK so go listen to abbey road for a bit. I'll be waiting. Because we are going to get to some harder stuff.
Hey great. Can we go back to some minimalists again for a bit? One of the canonical works is Terry Riiley's "In C". https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/t.-riley-in-c/id307564987 This is really the minimalism which gripped the back of 20C. Cage, Reich, Reilley. These guys were dominant. And it had that structural sound. You get things like piano phase and the swinging mics over amps for pulsing feedback. Some amazing music. But a theme. Piano Phase is key because it is 10 notes on two pianos and one is a teensy bit faster than the other. Really worth a listen. https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/piano-phase-single/id401273221
But where did these minimalists emerge from? It seems like we are missing something. Somewhere between Shostakovich (sort of "Beethoven on Steroids"), Schoenberg and crew ("A new music theory") and the Reich/Riley crew (change the length scale of music in time), there's a missing link.
And that missing link is the hard stuff.
It's hard for two reasons. First a lot of it is crap. Real crap. Impossible to listen to.
But second, some of it isn't, but it is still really really hard. Really hard because it is active listening. You need to think about the tradition and structure of the music as presented.
And I see it in three composers worth your time: Xenakis. Ligeti. Penderecki. This is where the real fear starts kicking in.
Lets just jump to the punch line. Penderecki wrote this bit "Threnody for the victims of hiroshima". It is terrifying. It is haunting. I can't listen to it often. But I do listen to it more than you'd think.
https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/threnody-for-victims-hiroshima/id19296165?i=19296147
Before you say it is unadulterated shit, listen three times.
And if you can get through that, try and find the ligeti requiem - which I can't find on itunes.
But its not all just noise walls. There's still music in that structure. Listen to the ligeti piano etudes. (They are etudes in only the most insane sense that they do require study).
https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/ligeti-etudes-musica-ricercata/id263084597
listen to #13, L'Escalier de whatzit. See. No more standard rythm or tone or structure and music comes differently.
OK this wacky edge of the 20th C is basically unlistenable at scale. Only a total dickhead would put this on his party mix at christmas. And no, i didn't. Everyone would rather hear exile on main street with a beer and a few friends. This is different.
But some of it is remarkable, so let me leave you with one of my other favorite bits of music. Which is sort of the culmination of a lot of these themes into a modern chamber music which in many ways un-rejects the things the 20th century was rejecting, and develops a new music. The album "Road Movies" by John Adams has some amazing Piano/Violin, Two Piano, and Solo Piano work. I listen to this album all the time. Love it. It is music come out of the back of the intellectual ringer and interesting. https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/road-movies/id327047360
So let me know what you like and hate. And I'll offer more guides.
Don't Complain - and other cool wellness tips
From NYT, Feb 2025
35 Simple Health Tips Experts Swear By
When I find myself stuck in a pattern of negative thinking, I try not to complain for seven days. It retrains your brain to stop going down a negative path. I write "Don't complain!" on a sticky note right by my bed so I see it when I wake up.
Dr. Kali D. Cyrus
Psychiatrist and assistant professor at Johns Hopkins Medicine
--
My second-grade teacher, Ms. Edson, told us: If something feels too hard to do, it just means that the first step isn't small enough. So often when we're struggling, we tell ourselves that it's a sign that we're broken or that something is our fault, and then we freeze. But when something is too hard in the moment, tell yourself Ms. Edson's advice.
Becky Kennedy
Clinical psychologist, parenting expert and founder of Good Inside
----
I do small actions day to day that keep me connected with other people. I didn't used to. But then my research began to show people who do are happier, live longer and stay healthier. I started deliberately making dates with friends, going out to dinner with other guys. I have a Friday noon meeting every week with my friend and colleague Marc. And I make small, frequent contact with other people I want to stay connected to. Texting counts.
Dr. Robert J. Waldinger
Director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development
----
There's lots of work on what's called time affluence, the subjective sense that you have some free time. The simple act of giving myself a break — two to five minutes to catch my breath between tasks — makes me feel less time-famished. Studies would suggest that just changing that sense of time famine can have a disproportionate impact on well-being.
Laurie Santos
Cognitive scientist and happiness expert at Yale University
---
Each year, make a commitment during your birthday month to schedule all your annual health checkups. Schedule them for anytime in the next year before your next birthday. Keeping your health in check requires consistent care. This helps make sure that you get it done.
Dr. Folasade P. May
Gastroenterologist and associate professor of medicine at U.C.L.A.
---
Often when I'm feeling mentally foggy, I use the 10-10-10 rule: Take a 10-second break every 10 minutes to stare at something 10 feet away. This not only helps reduce eye strain from screen time, but the brief mental break can help boost your focus and refresh your cognitive clarity.
Lisa Mosconi
Neuroscientist and director of the Weill Cornell Women's Brain Initiative
----
4-7-8 breathing
----
5 things to hear, smell, taste, see....feel
----
I look for opportunities for bite-size "movement snacks." Exposure to different movements helps prevent injury and increases range of motion. When you leave a room, touch the top of the doorway. If you walk by a playground, just go hang on the monkey bar for a little bit. Put your hands against the wall, lean forward and pedal out your feet to flex your ankles. Look for times to sit on the ground, so you have to get back up. Try brushing your teeth on one foot.
Michelle Voss
Associate professor of brain sciences at the University of Iowa
----
If you wake up in the middle of the night, don't get up (unless you really have to pee). Instead, lie on your back and do 10 rounds of 4-7-8 breathing (inhaling for four seconds, holding it for seven and exhaling for eight). Then count backward from 300 by threes. The breaths slow your heart rate, while the math keeps your mind from racing. It works so well, it's like taking an Ambien.
Michael Breus
Sleep specialist and author of "Sleep Drink Breathe"
----
Curiosity is a superpower! It helped me learn to work with and overcome my own panic attacks. Whenever I notice the "Oh no!" voice in my head when I'm worrying, I can flip the inflection to the "Ohh?!" of being curious: "Oh, here's heart racing. Oh, here's sweaty palms. Oh, here's feeling like I'm short of breath." When I bring curiosity to each of those by themselves, it doesn't feel as bad.
Judson Brewer
Director of research and innovation at the Mindfulness Center at Brown University
---
Create a secret, quirky phrase that you say to yourself when you stop your work for the day to shift out of professional mode. (I used to say: "Schedule shutdown complete.") When ruminations about work arise, you can simply respond: "I said my shutdown phrase." Over time, the urge to obsess over work diminishes.
Cal Newport
Author of "Slow Productivity"
---
"Stop, Breathe, Be" is a three-second brain reset to help manage anxiety in the moment. The instructions are in the name: Stop whatever you're doing, take a brief pause. Take a deep breath in and out. Be grounded in the present moment. "Stop, Breathe, Be" gets you out of "What if?" thinking and back to what is, in the here and now.
Dr. Aditi Nerurkar
Harvard physician specializing in stress and burnout
-----
During my workday, one of the most restorative things I can do is listen to a song I love between clients. If I listen to some Snoop Dogg, I'm going to feel a little recharged. It puts you in a different zone. I have a playlist that has gospel music and Megan Thee Stallion and all sorts of stuff.
Nedra Glover Tawwab
Licensed clinical social worker
---
Short bursts of intense exercise — burpees, sprints on a bike, taking the stairs at work — are both physically and metabolically valuable. I make sure to put them into my life a couple of times every week.
Dr. Jordan D. Metzl
Sports medicine physician at the Hospital for Special Surgery in New York
----
Diaphragmatic breathing — using your diaphragm to take deep, controlled breaths and expand your belly, followed by exhaling slowly and letting your belly fall — stimulates vagus nerve activity and potentially reduces gastrointestinal symptoms such as bloating. I do it at bedtime for about 10 minutes.
Dr. Lin Chang
Gastroenterologist at U.C.L.A. Health
----
A couple of times a day, I consciously drop my shoulders, sigh and think to myself: "Let go."
Sherry Cormier
Psychologist and bereavement trauma expert
Monday, February 17, 2025
Tuesday, February 11, 2025
lessons for life
- Mutual trust and respect is the foundation of any relationship
- Be supremely confident (but humble, not arrogant) in whatever you do
- Know your stuff. Ask yourself the questions that others (your "students") would ask
- What matters is not the size of your authority, it is your influence and ownership
- You are only competing with yourself – don't be consumed by competing with others
- Success is all about managing expectations - Set expectations properly and deliver to them
- Figure out stakeholders' needs vs. wants
- Manage up, sideways with peers, and of course with your team – be visible and with integrity always
- If you fail at first, it is mostly fine as long as you recover
- You can negotiate even when you are in a hole
- Keep learning – there is no such thing as "irrelevant" knowledge or experience but ground yourself in facts
- Communicate, communicate, communicate